this is just a poem i wrote because i needed to clear my thoughts so hope you read it and comment, and if your going to say it sucks i already know that

Angel of Dispare
By the Queen of hearts

I wanted him to feel the way i felt
A beast tearing at my insides
aching when he wasnt there and yearning when he was
Crying in the darkness as i realized what I've done
holding in my feelings
Telling him a lie
Numbing my desires from my sudden fears
of him growing tired
see who what I really am
An Angel of dispare
shaking as he watches me
in my closet full of shame
Feeling his eyes on me sitting there bare
wishing he would hold me
And banish all my pain
Though he's the one who caused it
The pain I feel each day
telling me I'm silly
And my words are nothing more
than just words
"I love you" stumbles from my lips
And all he can do is shudder and look away
He doesn't want my feelings, my words, or my hearts <3
I still do what he asks fir he says I'm something special
I want to be his angel
I want to make him smile
So I kill my feelings and my wants
To be with him always
As his angel of Dispare